10 Worst Xbox 360 Games / Wii /PS3 I wouldn’t give even to my enemy / ex-girlfriend / ex-wife

By Shaon, Gaea News Network
Thursday, December 16, 2010

Ok the year has been done and dusted and the anticipation of the titles to be released next year have already started. That said and done this year had housed quite a few brilliant titles like our last game related post said. But you know what, the number of shovelware that were released last year and that too with some incredible hype were really some of the lowest in gaming history seen this gen. The movie knock offs decidedly were bad. It was as if a most developers chose to remain oblivious to the fact that gaming is evolving as a legitimate form of art. Randomly stinging explosions does not have any effect on any self respecting adult if its not made by Michael Bay and has Megan Fox in tight shorts running around in all the more back ache inducing positions to make her heavier upfront (wishful thinking). When you have games like Vanquish featuring regularly in the bargain basement of your local games store to make room for a game based on a movie cash in which is ultimately sourced from another book series the gamer in me cries. I mean, seriously what do these people want to achieve by throwing down sub par knock offs under the throat of the gullible throats of the pre pubescent teens who in turn are swearing their way to glory on Black Ops servers.


Even then considering the gratification I feel when these brats are subjected to the horrors of another pretentiously kiddy movie tie ins one must say the Industry is not going to progress in this way. This article thus far may seem like a rant exclusively on the movie tie ins but to tell you the truth there is more. One gem like ‘Deadly Premonition’ ( a game probably made by a studio to poor to use beer cans for ashtrays) is panned for having PS2 era GFX but what about the thousand big budgeted sequels that get past the scathing knives of a reviewer despite having derivative and generic gameplay. This happened in the industry 10 years ago when a gem called MDK was snuffed while people managed to shove shit down the gamers throat with crappish obnoxious titles. This year the burnt of the big spenders is being borne by Vanquish as we speak. Think of it this way an all time classic like the “Eye Of The Tiger” lingers in the dungeons of the thousands and an amateurish, voice synthesized boy who incidentally sounds like a girl rakes up the millions. By the time I finish compiling this list of the uber crap and downright worst games for this year I hope to coerce you into making a pledge that in the year of 2011 you will never part with any of your hard earned cash to make the ultimate sacrilege of placing a Quantum Theory next to a Metal Gear Solid 4 or a Red Dead Redemption. The picture is going to break the hearts of the people who actually toiled long and hard to make games that push the boundaries so that you as a gamer can feel proud about your passion.

1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1

Surprise Surprise :-p

Dark is a good thing in literature and in art. We will always prefer a certain Joker or a certain Marlon Brando holed in a jungle than the sense of dread conveyed by CGI enhanced clouds. We leaped out of our seats when we got to know the motive behind Ozymandias’s super-hero killing spree. Harry Potter , an immensely popular franchise decided to go dark with the last book to solicit the response from the people who grew up in the make believe world of Muggles and Wizards. The last book of the series is definitely one of the hardest to translate to the film medium properly but it was achieved to a considerable degree. While the movie was not another scratch on the Lord of the Rings series it was certain that success was achieved to a greater extent.

The reason behind this long pre face is that the game could have been great. The source material was definitely there to make something great but unfortunately the heart was not in place not unlike the other games of the series. A game seemingly decided on a board meeting could have looked just like the end product we received.

Boss 1: Ok so now we have to make a darker tone and also sell copies.

Boss 2: Make it like the Gears Game

Boss 1: But that will take some time and will cost us money to get the Unreal tech, Superior AI, Art Design.

Boss 2: Are you kidding me? If I spend on tech then where the F would I get the money to go on a cruise ship, Holy hell! Just rip them out from wherever you can while I go and Finalize the Twilight deal.

And that is how kids, We meet Harry Potter And The Deathly hallows Part 1 The game. A travesty in all angles of judgment. Harry keeps on spamming Avada Kedavra like a dirty word on a B grade action Flick. Next is what in a cut scene he will probably say ” I am goin to lay down some Avada Kedavra on your candy ***”. Worst game this year and the sequel will top this very list next year as well

2. Prison Break The Conspiracy

Another one in the slammer.

The utter hopelessness of a prison is often emulated close to perfection with the sheer amount of mortification reached by playing this title. More over you don’t get to play as a character from the popular TV show but instead you play a generic hero with a generic name (Tom Paxton) on totally generic missions that has such minimal impact that the proceedings will be safely ignored by the writers for the next season. Quickly from the projected bad ass you reduce yourself to the level of an errand/whipping boy of the convicts. Dealing with the unpredictable AI is bad enough when the designers feel it is right to make the players gaze on Paxton’s low res back side. What! Now the game wanted to be a hit with gay people or what? Even that could have meant entertainment for atleast some of the demographic. Take my word and possibly a few You Tube videos for it there is not much in the game to look at and whatever is left it is left obscured by the other pieces of the environment.

As you rely on the AI’s stupidity to complete the mission you will additionally face the challenge of dragging the character across the room at a speed that will definitely rival your octogenarian neighbor. This game almost had us checking if sneaking out of the office would ever be possible by tilting the camera sky wards. The results were disappointingly negative thus stripping this God Awful game of the one idea that could have demanded our attention and discussion over its final details. When a game has a lock picking mechanic as its only moment of tension and stress it definitely lacking a lot of things. Things like GAMEPLAY.

3.Fighters Uncaged

The original motion controlled Television Anhilator

If ubisoft can come out with a title like this for the Kinect then I’d rather cheer on the excellent HomeBrew community to make Kinect do things which are as removed from the term gaming as cyber punk and the West, because when they do mix we get ‘Damnation’. While you would look quite silly to the onlookers all huffing and puffing in front of the set, believe you me that you as a gamer would feel even more insulted while attending the convoluted and the long drawn tutorial. Do one move three times then do it for the other limb. There will be moments you would love to bang your head into the wall (or the television set, hence the subtitle). This is one game that will reward limb spamming as opposed to the minuscule hint of strategy or tactics.

In order to progress in the league you ought to have crowns and yet after decimating the opponent black and blue through the lag induced control schema the game randomly decides that you don’t deserve them crowns. The visuals are plain and so are the characters. They are too wooden to be resembling humans this game is neither a looker nor a player.

4. Iron Man 2

Worse than Iron Man 1 the game ….nuff said

What is with super heroes and video games. Barring a certain Batman game and a a glimmer of hope from the Wolverine game. The game is worse than the last installment in many ways. The targeting system is busted and the characters look like straight out from the Left For Dead zombies 101. Don Cheadle’s model is especially lol worthy material. What is there to say about a title as awful as this one. The plot has little or no similarities with the movie ( a good thing considering that else we would have had to endure their rendition of Mickey Rourke. The game is unfairly balanced as enemies get cheap kills completely due to the fault of the targeting system which intermittently decides to do a hoola hoop like a drunken Bristol Palin on New Years Eve. It is better to donate the money to C.R.Y than to spend on suck ludicrous affairs.

5.Lost Planet 2

The Vanquish wannabe published before Shinji Mikami’s title

Capcom has gives us great games and great fun over the years. The game had a lot of promise after the visuals confirmed a departure from the drab and monotonous Tundra in the first game. The game simply becomes the victim of its own ambition. The most technically flawed yet visually impressive game of this times this game bears the brunt of one of the most extreme and frustratingly unfair shooter levels of all time (ala’ Train ride). The minimap will never even try to hint if your objective above or below your level. Moreover, during the train ride sequence you are given a map of a train and are never guided as to what in the love of God are you supposed to do with it. Several inconsistencies like underwater levels in one stage and in the next one Water is widely synonymous to death are plentiful. Also with the much vaunted Co-op there is no drop in and out system. For a game that revels in knocking you around this could have been a redeeming feature but it is sadly prominent by its exclusion. By the time I finished it I was glad that it was over

6.Final Fantasy XIV Online

Sucking the life out of a world we have grown to love

With the World of Warcraft decidedly greater than all MMORPGs it is beyond my perception as to why Square Enix had to come in the market with an extremely sub par offering. The laborious interface the limited number of quests and a generally steep cost of learning the title comes across as a misguided effort. Again the graphics is great but where the hell is the gameplay? Agreed that many MMORPG player considers toiling at a make believe world as their day job but why on earth should anyone get this game in order to be entertained. The game is practically tells the new user to go and something itself. The PC port of the game is a slap dash mixture of a half baked effort and awful design. Navigation feels like a chore and never fun. This is the reason why this game makes it to this dubious list and a game with the most potential but ultimately disappointed.

7.Deca Sports Freedom

And you Thought The Fighting game was bad

Technical pitfalls, gameplay glitches ensures that this game is anything but free. Even shooting an arrow will tax your head more as you will try and regurgitate the gestures. The more said about the bad menu navigation is the better. Maybe the people behind this atrocious product took the exercising part of the sports a bit to seriously. As you navigate through the wads of texts, the cursor will disappear forcing you to literally punch into thin air. Animations in the game are bad and yet that seems to be like an understatement. These kind of games actually sort of justifies Sony’s Nintendo ripping effort with move

8. Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II

Ripping Good old Vader a new one. a New low in Villany that is

Darth Vader is an icon, Period. Does not matter who it is but trying to change the iconic figure into a wimpy cry baby is really not done unless backed upon by some heavy convictions. The title regrettably misses out on all these. The art design is good in the title but sadly that does not justify its existence. It could have been any space based brawlers and still we could not tell the difference. Camera control plagues this title like anything and the control is anything but precise. The animations are over used one too many times. The levels are disjointed being clearly marked as battle or puzzle. The game is simply boring and never does anything with its potential. This is a failure in the part of the studio that had the license to go the distance with one of the most classic Sci Fi ip’s ever.

9. Disney Epic Mickey

Playing as icon on monotone

Wii games have long had the dubious honor of having shoddy production values (mario series aside). But this title comes as a surprise to us since not much is really done with another great ip and that is after we say that the twists were quite good. The camera is decidedly the most jarring experience in the game frustrating the gamer to hell during the set pieces. The low res texture in the visual is uncalled for and so is the sluggish character movement. The most undesirable part of the title is the woe ful 2D platforming sections. The fleshed out story is hampered by the monotonous objectives. The fact remains that this game relies on nostalgia to draw in the gamer and as an independent title it lacks the force to make you enjoy the title.

The Worst Of The Lot

Quantum Theory

Probably the worst of the lot when it comes to originality. We started the list with a wannabe Gears knock off and we are ending with another one. this time its a real deal with actually no pretense what so ever of even trying to something else. This game bears the testament to one of the most uninspired Game we have ever seen. It even copies its own level and really how dumb can one get. Uni dimensional protagonists don’t really help the carnage it does with the emotions of the player when he realizes that he has payed $60 for some steaming pile of garbage. The AI is the dumbest we have seen all year and simply awful and I repeat awful level design justifies my earlier statement that placing it along side any classic of the era will be the ultimate sacrilege

will not be displayed